Intelligent Dating

Intelligent dating is something we can all aspire to.  I had some issues on naming this chapter, fortunately poetic licence allows me some leeway. Mis-association often occurs with the words intelligent and intelligence.  The subject of the matter is often associated with being an intellectual, due to omitting, for example, an adverb. Couple the adverb highly with intelligent and you are indeed able to make a more appropriate inference to "intellectual".

Communication, Communication, Communication

The fact of the matter is that we all have some level of intelligence: we all have a capacity of learning, reasoning and understanding.  It is not about being an intellectual or becoming one, it is about using your innate faculty for reasoning and understanding, with the potential of increasing this capacity through using our cognitive abilities.  By having an overview of the world, the inhabitants, the history, the physical and metaphysical properties, the relationship to us and the cosmos, and of our own abilities of expression through creation (think music, think architecture, think prose and think art), we will not only have broadened our horizons through knowledge, we will also have improved our mode of communication.  


One of the barriers of communication is prejudice, which is far too often a negative pre-conceived and ill-informed idea regarding a person or group of people.  Remove this prejudice through knowledge and you open the doors to a world of new possibilities.  Bypassing the actual content of communication for a moment we can look at how we communicate with others and recognise our differing styles dependant upon who we are communicating with; we have already touched upon diversity in dating.  Ultimately my intention is to raise the degree to which we can all promote ourselves and therefore attract a larger audience.  Communication is, therefore, of crucial importance.


Returning to the content of communication, gaining the overview as above may have the additional benefit of enabling one to converse upon a diverse range of subjects. This could then enable you to become an entertaining dating companion.  Remember, no-one can promise you to be successful in finding your ideal mate or soul mate if that is your aim, but you can help you to discover yourself, and in turn discover who and what ticks those pleasure receptor boxes we all have.

Relating To Others

As you progress through my chapters you will find I am trying to impart knowledge.  Knowledge which will help you look at the world and everything in it differently to perhaps you are used to, but discovering an interconnectedness.  


To reiterate the point why: to help you relate to and communicate with others, specifically potential dating companions.   Most of us, as we go through life, judge things using ourselves as the benchmark: we subconsciously judge according to whether another's behaviour matches what we think our own would be in those particular circumstances.  There are two  problems arising from this:

• This person is not you but a unique individual. "All people are the sum of their genes, experiences and ever-changing thoughts and emotions at one moment in time."  I am quoting from my chapter: Blah blah blah from other sites
• Would you actually outwardly behave differently under the same circumstances? 

If our judgements are negative of a person's behaviour, our egos may have us believe we would behave in a somewhat superior way.  Is that because our minds have worked out, through hindsight, the right mode of action?  Unless we have studied and practised what Buddhists and psychologists call mindfulness then our own reaction is exactly that: a split second reaction to certain stimuli, which sometimes even surprises ourselves and we term it 'acting out of character'.

The first section of Intelligent Dating covers philosophy and it considers our relationship with the world and each other, through some of histories greatest thinkers.  

Philosophy and You

I cannot imagine that philosophy is word you have not heard of, but do you know what it really is about? According to dictionary.com philosophy is the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct.  The etymology (origin) of the word is Greek meaning 'loving wisdom'. Many historical philosophers were polymaths: their expertise covered a multitude of subjects, so among them were theologians, mathematicians and physicists. The Greeks were considered the founding fathers of Western Philosophy such as Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and certainly not forgetting  Pythagoras; who is known to all school children due to his Theorem regarding the right angle triangle  (the square of the hypotenuse equals the sum of the squares of the other two sides).  How could one forget that master-piece which has helped us all sail through life.  Okay I hold my hands up and admit that I would rather delve into literature than numbers.  Having stated that, I do have a respect for the importance of numbers in life, and especially geometry.  It's relevance can be seen here: Be True To Yourself.

Let us begin by removing our egocentric blinkers and cease looking at the world in this narrow way.  Let us look at how we can relate to the world and open ourselves up so that we can dispose of that isolation apparel we sometimes wear.  Let us look at the bigger picture where we will find we are not alone and how we can learn to relate to other people for our personal benefit.   Let us look to the next chapter...