BIBLIOGRAPHY
Books
Jung, The Key Ideas - Ruth Snowdon
I have been interested in psychology since before I began working for the good ol' NHS, and started my studies in an introduction to it 14-15 years ago (likewise sociology a year later). For some undefined reason Carl Jung and I have never crossed paths until recently (not bad for a dead person). Well I want to rave about this fascinating man for his ideas have created such a deep resonance in me due to my present spiritual journey and long-standing psychological interest. Like most of us, I want to become the best person I can be, which involves my conscious and unconscious to walk hand in hand (ego and higher self, though Jung would state Self with the all-important capital S), and likewise to balance both the male and female aspects of myself, such as my logical rationale and emotional intuition. Jung would class this as the individuation process and Buddhists would class this as the journey towards enlightenment. Are labels necessary? They are actually useful as a tool for comprehension rather than an authoritative definition.
So what does this book have to do with dating? Did I say it did? Actually it does and I'll quote directly from the last chapter, which I read today (18/4/12): "Jung argues that we cannot hope to relate well to others until we can see ourselves clearly... 'Relationship to the Self is at once relationship to our fellow man, and no-one can be related to the latter until he is related to himself.'" p177 Jung the visionary.
The Everything Hinduism Book - K Shouler, Ph.D., & S Anthony
At the end of 2011 I purchased a set of books giving an overview of the world's major religions. Hinduism struck a chord with me due to how life has shaped, and continues to shape my belief system. It left me wanting to know more. I decided to read, not only to aid my own journey in the search of enlightenment, but also with a view of seeking information that could benefit a Dater.
A light-hearted look, due to actual personal ads, within the lonely hearts scene: a column of the London Review of Books. If you have ever giggled at peoples' profiles on Internet Dating, it might be worth you taking a peek. An on-line review. The ads are annotated by the editor David Rose to remove the obliqueness of some of the highbrow content. One such annotation regarding a certain train service had me in stitches for I cannot recall elsewhere in the book where a comment had such an underlying subjectiveness (with a direct comparison to faecal matter).
Internet Articles
Codependency
The first time I heard this term was after the break-up of my relationship with F, so it would have been two-and-a-half years ago. It was shocking to research a term and find I already "had the t-shirt". Both S, my male friend, and I were in a place of pain and he shared this website with me to help. Those of you not ready for information with a spiritual leaning may prefer an alternative link such as this counselling service.
I recognised myself in this paragraph from the above counselling site:
"Codependency causes us to become "enmeshed" within relationships, friendships, our jobs and roles and is accompanied by an exhausting tendency to want to "fix" people and things and to then be fixed. We become "rescuers" and "martyrs" and then directly or indirectly demand some kind of reward for our efforts. We become trapped by our need to be needed."
Perhaps the above seems harsh but replace "demand for reward" for the ego's need for validation as it can be difficult to acknowledge a dysfunction, however mild or severe, acute or chronic it is; but when one does, one grows from that knowledge. The following communication gives examples of the types of validation we seek, I sent it to one I love:
Golden Proportion
Also known as Golden Ratio/Section/Mean, Divine Proportion and Golden Number Phi. As I am writing this I am looking at this site: www.goldennumber.net. The reason I have chosen to link this particular page is to direct you to scroll to the list of where phi appears. It is apparent in the Universe, occurring naturally in human bodies, animals, nature, the solar system, sciences and in mankind creations of art, music, books and architecture. Interestingly phi is used in facial plastic surgery. So the secret is out, there is a universal formula to what attracts us. In my Blog I extended this idea of the Golden Proportion to a personal facial geometry. The idea is simple: where our faces deviate from the Golden Proportion we are drawn to those who reflect the same deviations.
Namaste
This is a new term to me and is the most beautiful of salutations I have yet come across. I state it in response to one of the anonymous comments. It is a literal translation of the Sanskrit word means I bow to you. Gandhi is reputed to have defined it in a letter of response to Einstein as "I honour the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honour the place in you of light, love, truth, peace and wisdom. I honour the place in you where, when you are in that place, and I am in that place, there is only one of us."
The Everything Hinduism Book - K Shouler, Ph.D., & S Anthony
At the end of 2011 I purchased a set of books giving an overview of the world's major religions. Hinduism struck a chord with me due to how life has shaped, and continues to shape my belief system. It left me wanting to know more. I decided to read, not only to aid my own journey in the search of enlightenment, but also with a view of seeking information that could benefit a Dater.
Sexually, I'm more of of a Switzerland - David
A light-hearted look, due to actual personal ads, within the lonely hearts scene: a column of the London Review of Books. If you have ever giggled at peoples' profiles on Internet Dating, it might be worth you taking a peek. An on-line review. The ads are annotated by the editor David Rose to remove the obliqueness of some of the highbrow content. One such annotation regarding a certain train service had me in stitches for I cannot recall elsewhere in the book where a comment had such an underlying subjectiveness (with a direct comparison to faecal matter).
The most memorable content of any profile I have perused, and one which has been repeated, is the following: "Intelligent man with a good sense of humour, likes blah blah blah, seeks same". Misplaced under male seeks female perhaps?
You Kant Make It Up! - Gary Hayden.
In this book: You Kant Make It Up! Strange Ideas From History's Great Philosophers, Gary Hayden states this: philosophy concerns itself with ultimate questions. So if you have ever perused such ideas as: "Why are we here?"; "Is there a God?"; and, "Is reality as we perceive it, real?", then you are embarking on the cornerstones of philosophy. Gary recommends many books and I am following up a couple of his recommendations to give me a better understanding of both Eastern and Western philosophical ideas.
Codependency
The first time I heard this term was after the break-up of my relationship with F, so it would have been two-and-a-half years ago. It was shocking to research a term and find I already "had the t-shirt". Both S, my male friend, and I were in a place of pain and he shared this website with me to help. Those of you not ready for information with a spiritual leaning may prefer an alternative link such as this counselling service.
I recognised myself in this paragraph from the above counselling site:
"Codependency causes us to become "enmeshed" within relationships, friendships, our jobs and roles and is accompanied by an exhausting tendency to want to "fix" people and things and to then be fixed. We become "rescuers" and "martyrs" and then directly or indirectly demand some kind of reward for our efforts. We become trapped by our need to be needed."
Perhaps the above seems harsh but replace "demand for reward" for the ego's need for validation as it can be difficult to acknowledge a dysfunction, however mild or severe, acute or chronic it is; but when one does, one grows from that knowledge. The following communication gives examples of the types of validation we seek, I sent it to one I love:
"The ego wants validation of being loved and expects it the way it wants it, according to your life experiences and needs. The higher self does not need the love of others and therefore does not have that issue. Try to look at validation (praise/confirmation of love/affirmation of being right) as a bonus to make you smile rather than see it (unconsciously perhaps) as a necessity." The lesson was introduced as a concept by the above spiritual website but life's experience has only recently integrated this lesson into my life and I feel much healthier for it. Consider it as a protection against manipulation - both the dealing of and receiving of it.
Golden Proportion
Also known as Golden Ratio/Section/Mean, Divine Proportion and Golden Number Phi. As I am writing this I am looking at this site: www.goldennumber.net. The reason I have chosen to link this particular page is to direct you to scroll to the list of where phi appears. It is apparent in the Universe, occurring naturally in human bodies, animals, nature, the solar system, sciences and in mankind creations of art, music, books and architecture. Interestingly phi is used in facial plastic surgery. So the secret is out, there is a universal formula to what attracts us. In my Blog I extended this idea of the Golden Proportion to a personal facial geometry. The idea is simple: where our faces deviate from the Golden Proportion we are drawn to those who reflect the same deviations.
Namaste
This is a new term to me and is the most beautiful of salutations I have yet come across. I state it in response to one of the anonymous comments. It is a literal translation of the Sanskrit word means I bow to you. Gandhi is reputed to have defined it in a letter of response to Einstein as "I honour the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honour the place in you of light, love, truth, peace and wisdom. I honour the place in you where, when you are in that place, and I am in that place, there is only one of us."
