Dating Disasters/Anecdotes: Your Turn

Whilst I compose more dating subject matter for your perusal, I had the fantastic idea of involving you.  Now I do not lay claim to it being an original idea but it could prove to be fun.

Would you like to 

Share those dates which have made you scream and shout outside of the proverbial bedroom?  

Share those tender moments when you both laid eyes on each other and realised one of you looked nothing like the photographs?  

A wig wearing toupee?

Recall the times when both of you used the arrangement of "the emergency phone call" allowing escape from each others' clutches? 

Recall laughing so hard that your dentures landed in your pudding?

Remember running your hands through his hair during the kiss goodnight only to find as you stepped away his hair was still running through your hands, before the toupee dropped to the floor like a shocked chihuahua? 

All You Have To Do

• Is send your stories through the comment section here.  Alternatively send them to

datingdivination@hotmail.com

• Any details regarding the identification of your date need to be (or will become) confidential.  I suggest that you use the initial of the first name.  

• It is up to you whether you choose to remain anonymous.  Perhaps you too would just prefer the use of your initial(s).  I would like statistical details such as gender and age group though, please.

• Using the comment section, please note that nothing is published automatically. Also note that I cannot edit comments, so it is a case of publish the comment as sent or edit and place in the body of the Blog.

I do appreciate some people will want to contribute but the thought of writing an essay is daunting.  Be assured I am not judging a story writing competition and just a sentence may encapsulate all you want to state.

For those who are horrified at the thought of writing anything then perhaps you would like to enter in the spirit of things and send in your responses to my simple poll:

My Dating Disaster consisted of

1. Date not turning up
2. Date looking nothing like their photographs
3. Date having hygiene issues such as bad breath, abnormal or overpowering body odour, grimy fingernails
4. Date embarrassed him/herself or me
5. I embarrassed myself or date
6. I did not get a word in edgeways 
7. Other

Please feel free to elaborate on any of the pointers.  I do look forward to hearing from you.

Pssssttttt number six was one of my worst dating experiences.  Being able to talk for England and having a variety of opinions, I do not normally find it difficult to interact with people.  I am also very interested in hearing others' opinions and particularly the rationale behind them.  Well X was actually in a league of his own where talking was concerned; and deserved to be in that league, on his own.  He talked and talked and asked for my input, but then talked some more.  When I tried to interject he talked over me.  When I finally shut him up for two seconds he then proceeded to tell me my opinions were wrong. I can hear you asking me how opinions can be wrong when they are subjective beliefs: my point exactly.  Opinions are not normally black and white statements of fact, and in good communication would not be expressed as such, except by X of course.  Cue the need for a Stepford Wife for this charming and articulate gentleman.  Actually cue Churchill (the nodding dog):

This date occurred due to me not listening to my intuition. Nevertheless it has proved fruitful for I did need to be able to write something of a disastrous nature here. It would not surprise the pope or a pauper that I did not see this man again, but funnily enough it did surprise him. In fact he rebuked me for not making myself available for him to take me out again.  Apparently I was very aware at how much interest he had in me.  

Over To You
Ladies you are letting the side down.  From information I have gleaned, we females seem more likely to misrepresent ourselves through old photographs than our male counterparts, or even worse, use fake pictures.  Consider the fact that you are more likely to get hurt by a negative reaction face-to-face, from someone you may have spent hours communicating with, than if you put up a true likeness and men bypass you at the profile stage.


Here's an interesting story with a young lady's date turning up like a cross between Father Christmas and a Christmas Tree .  S was expecting G to turn up blond like his photograph, but alas he was as white as Father Christmas and wore a sparkly green top that merely needed a few baubles to set it off seasonally.  Keeping on the Christmas theme this young lady discovered G, unlike what she had seen in his photo, needed to make this request to Santa:

This same lady shared another tale: meeting with M one evening, she was pushed up against her car and before civil greetings had occurred, hands were wandering and his tongue entwining with her own.  Before long they entered the drinking establishment where she was to make her escape after nursing a solitary coffee.  This was not due to the amorous welcome but because she could not understand one word C uttered, and she did not wish to mock the affliction of this guy.  He had not explained to her he was deaf, which naturally affected his ability to communicate.  S quickly discovered an alternative exit from the establishment after making excuses to use the ladies' toilets.

Ladies are not the only ones to become victims of amorous intentions, but when the story is retold with relish, it is hardly perceived, even remotely, as a dating disaster.

S, this time a male, shared a couple of stories he had heard from one of his dates: One guy had been getting hot and steamy in a chat session with a woman and they therefore arranged to meet.  Upon her turning up he thought something was not quite right. He then realised he was sitting opposite a trannie! Having more than proverbial balls, he didn't leave until he finished his drink.  The second tale involved a guy having dinner with his date.  A man walked upto the table and declared: "You promised me you weren't going to do this again!".  The date simply told her husband to go home and then continued to dine.

Embarrassments

Do not have to be negative as one should be able to laugh at themselves.  I had one date, C, who looked like a hare trapped in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle.  We were merrily talking about this and that, and this and politics, and that and philosophy, and this and religion, and that and...  Well when we came to talking about sex he suddenly realised my voice was not naturally a quiet one.  Beats me as to why he had not noticed it before( you have met my sarcasm before reader?).  I guess, due to dealing with death, I take a pragmatic approach to all subjects.  The only time I am socially inhibited with regards to the talking about sex is when children are in close proximity.  C relaxed when he realised all the other diners were more interested in their partners than listening to the latest sexual expression I had discovered and was relaying.  We did meet again and I must declare he cooked steak and  Béarnaise sauce to perfection.