You like the profile and you find this member's photographs appealing. You have even exchanged a couple of messages via the website. Your heart races and you drift off into a dream-like state wondering if you two have the potential of becoming an earthly Adonis and Aphrodite.
It is time to prove the member is real. Time to exchange email addresses, phone numbers, more photographs and perhaps even have a web-cam session - I do hope you are not thinking that I am insinuating a naughty session...
Tineye is a reverse image search engine. Using this you can potentially discover whether that fabulous photograph of your potential date is displayed elsewhere on the net. Click here!
I have recently been played, but caught the guy out the Wednesday prior to the arranged date on Saturday, so no great shakes. Bless his little cotton socks, the guy tried to make out I was the one with the problem. The signs were classic: only one photo and did not telephone me, when I went to telephone him I discovered his mobile phone to be on divert. I guess his disappointment lay in the fact he could not play me right up until the day of the date. I used Tineye on the photograph on the dating site and discovered the face belongs to an Israeli in America. Armed with his real name I found him on Facebook and delivered the facts. The ball is now in his court.
Intent
Now for the next hurdle: is the member's intent genuine? Being female I rely very much on my intuition (gut instinct), which has served me well. In fact the only time it has not served me was when I was foolish enough to ignore it. Intuition can be heightened by rational thoughts and logical assumptions. Consider why a person may not be free to take calls at certain times of the day; consider why they will text but not talk when you know they are not at work; consider why their number is withheld. Consider why information you are being given does not always add up. If your internal alarm bells start ringing, then you start listening! Then start asking: a person with genuine intent will have genuine explanations.
Prior to meeting someone you may want to sound them out. There are a couple of ways of doing this: although I do not advocate having a monkey profile (a fake website account), they can be useful and perhaps save you a great deal of grief; alternatively have you got a friend who you can join the dating site with?
A little historical food for thought
Several years ago I was on a dating site, unbeknown to me, my eldest daughter was also on that site. She telephoned me in a state of excitement about this one particular guy who was enthralled by her. He had explained that he was not chatting to anyone else at that time and hoped she was acting in a likewise manner. She told me his name, the type and number of animals he had (German Shepherd dogs and horses for those interested in such trivial matters), the county he resided in, and that they had spoken with the intention of meeting in the near future. I asked her to give me the first five numbers of his mobile phone and then proceeded to give her the remaining numbers. Yes, this guy who had suggested exclusivity from the off was arranging to meet the mother also. Consequently this guy lost the opportunity of meeting either of us. We both gave him A* for effort because even when he discovered the mother and daughter act, he still tried it on, hoping at least one of us would fall for his bullshit.
Having a friend on a dating site can be invaluable. Between the pair of you, you can discover the members who approach others en masse - those members who impressed you with having made such a huge effort with the message they sent to you, only to find you have been in receipt of a copy and paste job. This does not singularly judge a person but provides a snippet of information that may aid you later in the process of you and your friend assessing genuine intent or how disingenuous a member others may prove themselves to be.  |
| I could not post the real image, sorry |
Like the scenario with my daughter, I had a similar experience with a friend of mine. This guy doctored his story according to what he thought we wanted to hear. My friend was told he was going through Hell with an alcoholic partner and a baby to look after, obviously going for the sympathy vote; whereas I was told he was separated and living with his sister, as I refused to entertain even the idea of a man in a relationship. There were other inconsistencies also. We allowed him to discover we were comparing notes before saying adiós, this prompted him to telephone us declaring we, individually, were who he wanted to meet. We both were apologised to with regards to the bullshit, and yet he proceeded to poop more.
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