Blah Blah Blah From Other Sites

Only Follow Advice Which You Feel Is right For YOU!

Try browsing the Net and see what advice you can get from other sites.  It falls into two distinct types: psychological geared for self-help and relationship advice, and practical tips such as here.    There is a wealth of information that you can click on in an instant.  Some of it is free and some of it starts of as free.  Are they promising you if you do this you will get that, or if you do that you will get this?  Are they telling you what to do, how to act or what to say, in order to get that gorgeous guy and seduce him into bed, or get the girl of your dreams, marry and live happily with 2.4 children?  Yes, a little stereotypical gender aspiration reversal here, standing as an example, for no matter what promises are made, they will NOT stand true for all, when you consider the advice originates from psychological averages*.  Miss Average meets Mr Average. Their date is wonderfully average, emitting average interaction and average behaviour. They go on and have more wonderful average dates and end up with a blissful average "Happily Ever After".  

*Average: think in a mathematical sense, NOT as in the definition of ordinary/mediocre.


If you return to the first page of my Blog you will see this statement: "...there is nothing wrong with using dating as an aid to discovering what you want AND discovering you, for different people will bring out different facets of you." Experiencing life is the best way in which to learn about ourselves, to learn about other people, and to learn how we can interact with others successfully.  If we are willing to open ourselves up to these lessons, we will then be taking them on board and evolving.

imagine charting all the components and variables of x and y and the
intersection being the only time when the desired result occurs

Following advice may help you act appropriately in order to get a desired result but it does not guarantee it.  Far too many variables exist for that to happen.   People individually are complex let alone adding another to the equation. There is not a book big enough, or an internet site large enough to give advice on how one person can manipulate a situation, themselves and another person to get a desired result.  x may represent females (it certainly does in the science of biology by the fact x = the female chromosome and y = the male chromosome) but it is such a tiny part of the dating and/or relationship picture.  All people are the sum of their genes, experiences and ever-changing thoughts and emotions at one moment in time. Imagine the equation x+y= fireworks on 22 March 2012.  Yet consider if x had met y the day before when her car had broken down and y had taken his cat to the vets, the result could be indifference or worse, such as x+y=Zzzzzzzzzzzz.  


The same can happen in an established relationship...

Chemistry sizzled for me when I met F for the first time.  All my senses went into overdrive, but a little decorum was initially needed.  I will let you imagine the fireworks that took place at a later date, and an ensuing relationship.  Fast forward eight months and events were tempting me to believe: 




My head was telling my heart the relationship had run its course.  We made love.  My intent was one of goodbye.  A metaphysical experience over-ruled my intent and added itself to our equation (our souls/essence/higher selves had connected).  This resulted in me spending two further years in the relationship (albeit at this time long distance).  The love, the lust, the chaos were all part of our x+y; and for me personally, paramount to my growth.  




Please do not think reading certain literature is pointless for it is far from it (I did question whether it is worth reading Men Are From Mars, after-all), you just have to work out what is right for you.  Just remember there are no universal rules for the success in meeting someone and it turning into a successful relationship.  Give and take, compassion, understanding and a great deal of communication is necessary; and that is on top of chemistry, compatibility and timing.